(Originally written October 16,2012)
The Ride of a Lifetime
Each one of us
has a moment when we conquer that one childhood fear that really holds us back.
For me, that was about five years ago when my family was on vacation at lagoon.
I remember the smell of sunscreen mixed with fried food wafting around me, and
the warm, sticky air clinging to my skin. Back then, I was terrified of rollercoasters,
and I don’t mean the slight nervous feeling some people get. I would literally
tremble and cry just standing in line. I remember many times when my parents
had to drag me kicking and screaming onto a ride. That warm day in June, as I
walked through the big gates decorating the entrance of the theme park, seeing
layers of structures and fountains rising in front of me, I hoped this time
would be different. ‘Here goes nothing.’
Like most other
trips to Lagoon, I spent most of the morning with my younger cousins going on
children and family rides. I did my very best to stand in the back of the group
and avoid my parents as we wandered through the colorful attractions and signs
that read “Kiddie Land”. ‘I can just stay
here the whole day and never go on any of the big, scary rides,’ was the
thought that floated around my head.
“Sarah!!” My
mom’s voice echoed out of the crowd walking around me. I should’ve known I
couldn’t hide from my mom’s hawk’s eye vision. “We were just about to go on The
Wicked. I thought I’d take you with us,” she said smiling. A feeling of panic
engulfed me at the sound of The Wicked. This ride was the scariest ride at the
park. It started by shooting the riders up a completely vertical hill. After
that, the riders spun freefalling down and spiraling through crazy twists and
turns, then came an abrupt stop at the station, notorious for knocking the
breath out of unsuspecting riders. ‘Only
insane people would try that. I don’t think I could survive.’
“I don’t want
to, Mom. You said I wouldn’t have to!” I squeaked, feeling childish but unable
to control it.
“Sarah, stop
making such a big deal. You don’t have a choice,” my mom said giving me a cold
stare and grabbing my arm. She tugged me towards the rollercoaster, but I
continued fighting. I whined like a five year old child being sent to bed
without dinner as we wandered in between rides and stalls towards the flashing
sign with a lightning bolt across it. A small place in the back of my mind knew
I’d already lost the war, but I couldn’t make myself accept it.
“Mom! No!” I
screamed in frustration as the looming green tower grew closer. I struggled to
break free. My mom’s lips tightened and she looked at me. Her eyes were burning
with anger and embarrassment and her nostrils flared out a little. I’d received
that look a million times before, but it had never seemed so terrifying as it
did in that moment.
In no time at
all, we were waiting at the bottom of the red stairs leading to the loading
deck. I felt tears stinging at the corners of my eyes as I took my first step
up. ‘The wait in line is always the
hardest part.’
“Mom, my head
hurts,” I said throwing my hand across my forehead.
“Too bad,
you’re still going on this ride,” my mom replied, rolling her eyes. I could
think of a million excuses. Not one would get me out of that line. ‘It’ll all be over soon.’ As we reached
the top of the staircase, I looked down and saw one of the cars creeping around
the turn below the platform we were standing on. Sirens blared and thunder
clapped as the car disappeared into the silver tunnel leading to the monstrous
hill. Little drops of sweat formed inside the palms of my hands. We stepped onto
the loading deck and the ride attendant directed us towards one of the lines to
wait in. ‘It won’t be so bad,’ I
whispered to myself over and over again. I couldn’t make myself believe it.
“Mom, please,”
I said softly. My mom ignored me and continued pushing me towards the yellow
numbers indicating where to stand. At this point, I could barely lift my feet,
and felt a knot growing in the back of my throat. I stood perfectly still
wishing I could simply stand in that queue forever, never having to face the
small cars waiting to send me hurtling along the track, but even as I wished
it, I knew what came next was inevitable. A car pulled up to our line and the
gates restraining us eased open. Standing there in between two railings, all
exits blocked by my parents, I only had one way to go. That way was into the car,
so I took my seat, my parents on either side of me. My hands were shaking too much
to hold on to anything, and I sat there, frozen, as the seat restraint was
lowered. I didn’t bother trying to stop the tears streaming down my face and
let a few whimpers escape through my lips. I glanced over at the ride
attendants and saw them whisper something to each other and attempt to
suffocate a giggle. My mom grabbed my hand and gently squeezed it. The gesture
made me feel like a small child again, wanting to climb onto her lap and be
wrapped in a warm hug that could make the world melt away. I closed my eyes. ‘I can do this.’ Without warning, the
car began to ease forward.
“Woo! Sarah!”
my aunt and uncle cheered as they stood on the platform. Ironically, after all
the whining and crying I’d done, I found the cheering embarrassing. Sirens
surrounded us as we rounded the turn. I only heard the very beginning of the
thunder as the world became a blur. I heard myself scream and scrunched my eyes
shut, as the car shot straight up. My stomach jumped into my throat and I felt
like I couldn’t breathe. After a few seconds, we began to slow down, signaling the
end of the upwards thrust. I opened my eyes just in time to see the sky melt
into the ground as we rounded the top. Now we were soaring down the hill. I
closed my eyes again, and held on for dear life as we zoomed through the quick,
jerky turns. Before I even knew what was happening, the ride screeched to a
halt and we were being released from our safety restraints. My mom looked over
at me to see if I was alright.
“Was it as bad
as you thought?” she asked, straightening out her hair. I blinked a few times,
letting the adrenaline rush through my system. I was full of excitement and
felt like I could fly. It really wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. Those
years I’d spent in Kiddie Land suddenly seemed like a waste, now that I’d
experienced the ride of a lifetime.
“Can we do that
again?” I asked. I felt like I could go on that ride a billion times more. My
mom laughed and said of course we could. The other rollercoasters that were
once so big and scary were small and slow compared to what I’d just gone
through. I found myself more excited to go again than I had been nervous the
first time. I even tried all of the other rollercoasters at the park. I don’t
know exactly what I’d been so afraid of, but it seemed like a whole new world
opened up to me. Now, five years later, I take a step up onto those same red
stairs, and feel a few butterflies of excitement flitting around my stomach.
The paralyzing fear that held me back is, now, only a vague memory, and I can’t
wait to reach the top of the once so forbidding, frightening staircase.
